Goals of interpersonal effectiveness

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Objectives Effectiveness

Getting your objectives or goals in a situation

• Obtaining your legitimate rights
• Getting another to do something
• Refusing an unwanted or unreasonable request
• Resolving an interpersonal conflict
• Getting your opinion or point of view taken seriously

Questions

1. What specific results or changes do I want from this interaction? 2. What do I have to do to get results? What will work?

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Relationship Effectiveness

Getting or keeping a good relationship

• Acting in such a way that the other person keeps liking and respecting you
• Balancing immediate goals with the good of the long-term relationship

Questions

1. How do I want the other person to feel about me after the interaction is over? 2. What do I have to do to get (or keep) this relationship?

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Self-respect Effectiveness

Keeping or improving self-respect and liking yourself

• Respecting your own values and beliefs: acting in a way that makes you feel moral
• Acting in a way that makes you feel capable and effective

Questions

1. How do I want to feel about myself after the interaction is over? 2. What do I have to do to feel that way about myself? What will work?

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I’m feeling too lousy to go into discussing this and besides, I couldn’t say it any better